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How To Irritate Your Wife
There are a number of ways for a man to irritate a woman. Sometimes it happens without effort. However, we learn from our mistakes. Moreover, we learn from the mistakes of others. This gives you a road map of an area to avoid. Here are some situations that you may wish to avoid.
Pick a nice warm sunny day. Perhaps she is sitting outside on the patio. She may be using the cordless or cell phone. Now is the right moment to use your Poulan chainsaw. This will blast her back into the house. You will interrupt her serenity and phone call. This technique will annoy her. It also shows complete disregard for her feelings. You can get two annoyances for the price of one.
Here is another method for irritation. Pick a time that she is watching television. Perhaps she is taking a break from doing things around the house. The perfect time is movie time. She may be watching a DVD. It is better if it is something on her favorite female cable channel. Sit with her and watch the program for a while. You may not find this easy. However, it can pay big dividends.
You can play the movie bashing game. All you have to do is find things that you do not like about her movie. This will not take long. Complain and ridicule as much as you can. You may point out that the movie is senseless, for example. See how many things you can come up with.
This is a good way to insult her indirectly. You do not come out and ridicule her. However, when you ridicule things that she likes, you poke fun at her. You also make fun of her intelligence level. This can be very insulting to anyone. Is it no wonder that this works so well?
Now it is time to show disregard for her possessions. Do have some household tasks like painting to do? Make it easy on yourself and annoy her at the same time. Open your can of paint. Take her hand mixer, and use it as a paint mixer.
You will now have plenty of time to paint in quiet. You will be undisturbed. She will be at the mall, looking at hand mixers. You perform another dual task. You get a paint mixer and irritate her, with one selfish incident.
You have worked very hard to make her life uncomfortable. It may time for some rest. You could apologize, but that may not work. You need to think of excuses. Why not plead insanity. She will have little trouble believing that. Obtain a black helmet. Line it with aluminum foil. Cover it with foil, if you want. Wear it inside the house. She may ask you why. Explain that the aliens are stealing your brain waves. You may get that rest time that you need. It could be for 48 hours of observation, but it is still rest.
Summary
If you seek marital harmony, do not try these stunts at home. They are dangerous and should only be performed by a qualified moron. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Official: MyFord Touch gets overhauled for 2013, existing models included (Autoblog)
Filed under: Technology, Ford, Design/Style, Infotainment
MyFord Touch has taken plenty of flack from both consumers and critics since
its release last year. The combination of capacitive controls for the climate
control system and a cluttered user interface on the center screen were proof
that MyFord Touch was a very one-point-oh product. To be fair, it was obvious
that Ford's new system was both very advanced and very powerful, but its cool
reception suggests that Ford may have attempted to sprint when it should have
jogged following the success of SYNC. The first iteration of MyFord Touch was
overly complex and occasionally glitchy, triggering a fair amount of bad press
around some of the industry's leading quality indexes. Now, the Dearborn
automaker is out to rectify some of the issues with its system for 2013 models
- and existing Ford drivers will benefit from the updates as well.
To start, Ford has expanded the features of MyFord Touch to now include Apple
iPad connectivity and access to Audible.com audiobooks through voice commands
or the touchscreen. A range of improvements are also being implemented for
better Bluetooth telephone connectivity, an updated map experience from
TeleNav and Navteq, ...
Diandra Arjunaidi - First Of The Gang To Die [Cover Live At MAP Art Festival 2010]
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